People, I can tell you, there’s only one man on the Isle of Skye worth getting your leg over, and that’s the Old Man of Storr.
Firstly, he is the most impressive-looking Old Man I’ve ever seen. Ancient and wizened by millions of years, he can certainly show you a trick or two.
So why the ‘Old Man’? Well, if you tilt your head to the right and imagine a Homer Simpson style face from the side (with the singular rock on the right as his eyelashes and the rocks to the top left being his pronounced lips), you’ll see what I mean.
Seen him? He’s a beaut, eh?
Actually, what I said above was total crap (but made ya look!). The ‘Old Man’ refers to the pinnacle on the right, and the Storr to the mountain itself. But I like to personify things and also to see ‘faces’ in everything so I’ll carry on with my sordid little tale.
Get ready to ‘blow’ your mind
It takes nearly 2 knee-trembling hours to conquer this old beast, up and down. The first things you’ll notice about him is that he’s recently had a shave. Unfortunately all of his trees have been cut down, which leaves a rather bare and sad old face. And everyone knows I’m not keen on the clean shaven look, I would actually go as far as to say I’m a pogonophile (beard lover). Ask me about that. It’s a real thing… Which I’m now applying to my love of trees… Normal.
At first, it’s a fairly slow and sedate affair, with plenty of opportunity to take a breather, but also with a few heart-pumping moments where I was forced to stop to regain control… He had me right where he wanted me.
At times, it seemed I wasn’t the only bird competing for his affections…
Every twist, turn and bend revealed a different side to this alluring character, and left me wanting more, more more! I didn’t think it could get any better when I finally neared the pinnacle, and it was clear to me that this was the most impressive rock I’d ever seen. Huge and solid, with just the right formation…
I approached with caution, not wanting to rush these last few glorious minutes. I knew the end was nearing and I wanted to spend as much time as possible admiring this sublime old man. His rumples and creases only adding to his charm, I was stupefied.
But I tell you… He makes you work for it. The last 5 minutes had me struggling to keep up. As I mounted the headland, my body shook with the strain of it all, and as I neared the climax of this incredible feat of nature, I couldn’t help but feel a surge of happiness coursing through me. He really was putting the ‘O’ in ‘Old Man of Storr‘.
And then, just as quickly as it began, it was over. My reward after my considerable efforts was to take in the whole of Scotland, from the Isle of Skye to the islands of Raasay and Rona, and beyond to the mainland. Get an eyeful of this…
Suffice to say, if I ever return to the Isle of Skye, I will be hitting up the Old Man again for a second session of adrenaline-pumping joy. After all, when it comes to old men like this, once is never enough…