Travelling through India is an absolutely unforgettable experience. Some moments you’ll be high-as-a-kite as you discover an amazing new food or chat to the nicest person that ever graced the planet, then out of nowhere you’ll receive some kind of karmic punishment in the form of illness, utter confusion or yet another travel delay.
Here are 24 things that everyone who travels to India can relate to.
1. You can’t start your day without a steaming cup of chai, and have withdrawal symptoms akin to a heroin addict when denied your favourite sweet treat.
2. You stop referring to things as ‘in front of’, ‘behind’, ‘left’ and ‘right’, and instead find yourself using ‘frontside’, ‘backside’, ‘leftside’ and ‘rightside’.
3. You refer to everyone as ‘my friend’.
4. You start to answer every question with a sideways head wobble. Whether that’s for ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘maybe’, it doesn’t matter.
5. Your ability to handle spicy food is now about a million times what it was before you arrived.
6. Every pair of trousers you own are either balloon or Ali Baba style.
7. You no longer look left and right before crossing the road. You just put your head down and go for it.
8. Curry for breakfast actually sounds rather appealing…
9. Your digestive system has been entirely re-calibrated thanks to a few good bouts of food poisoning.
10. You give in to the 40 degree heat and buy yourself a sweat rag to pat yourself with during the day.
11. You’ve held more babies and posed in more photos than in all of your previous family gatherings put together.
12. You’ve suffered a few near-death experiences thanks to bad driving / faulty wiring / holes in the road.
13. You’ve been eaten alive more than once by mosquitoes and other flying friends.
14. You actually really enjoy Bollywood movies and totally understand them, even when they spontaneously burst into another confusing dance routine.
15. You will never complain about the state of a public toilet ever again.
16.You will never complain about your slow internet connection ever again.
17. You will never complain about your busy commute ever again.
18. You no longer notice the near-misses and close-calls which happen during a simple journey from A to B. You’re immune to extreme and ever-present danger.
19. Things stop being ‘strong’ and start being ‘FULL POWER’!
20. You can sleep through anything. Traffic noise, people shouting, cows mooing, crows cawing at all times of the day, the end of the world…
21. You have been guest of honour at an Indian wedding.
22. You haven’t worn make up in two months and you don’t even care.
23. You’ve had more than one butt-clenching long train journey fighting yet another bout of food poisoning.
24. After all the crazy things you’ve seen and done, for all the soaring highs and the crashing lows, you wouldn’t change a thing. You’re hooked, and there’s no way you’ll ever be able to stop yourself from returning for more.
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